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  • Writer's picturePat Birnie

The Cleansing Tears

I’m sitting quietly in the beautiful kitchen at my son and daughter-in-law‘s house. The dishwasher is humming in the background and three, yes, three huge dogs are sleeping on the couch. Son and his wife have left for the hospital - baby number two will arrive today. My youngest son who also lives here has left for work, and my grandson is still sleeping. I’m sitting at the island with a coffee and my book, feeling strangely emotional. This is such a happy time. I don’t know why I want to cry. I do know why.  There have been so many sad times these last months, my tears are never far. I wonder why life has to be so hard. So many of these hardships are not my story to tell. There is a very sad and rare disease, and a young family struggling with facing that disease. There is a life that is stalled, needing time to heal and get back on track.  There was a death too young. There was another death far far too young. But today there will be joy. There will be a new baby, grandson number 10 to cuddle and snuggle. And I have the great honour of being invited to stay here as long as I want.  (my sweet daughter-in-law jokes that I’m going to stay a month or two; I think they would tire of me by then so I’ll call it in a week). I was browsing some blogs and sipping my coffee waiting for my busy beautiful grandson Ford to wake when I came upon this quote and it just hit me so hard.


“i sat with my anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief.” -c.s. lewis


There are many things the universe has brought lately and I have wondered why and I have felt angry and I have felt sad and I remember that one has to go through these phases in life. For today, I will embrace the joy. I will play with this little boy. I will hold that baby and cry tears of joy and I will patiently wait for what life will bring us next. 


Pat xo


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2 commentaires


busybeesuzblog
29 mai

Pat, so many things going on at once that will tug at your heart. I'm so sorry for the losses, the illnesses, the uncertaintly in your circle at this time. Praying things look up soon. Oh, a new baby! WHAT A DELIGHT. I hope all went smoothly for both Mom and the new love. XO

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Pat Birnie
Pat Birnie
29 mai
En réponse à

Thanks so much Suz, for the kind comments. We do learn eventually that life is hard at times. Sometimes things come in waves don't they? The new baby is absolutely perfect and I had so much fun with the 'almost' 2 year old! That's what keeps us going isn't it? the happy times!

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