How Do You Identify? It MAY make a difference!

One thing this century has brought us is the right to "identify" as whatever we truly feel we are. We have the right to be who we are, and of course, all have the right to our opinions about this. I'm honestly okay with this freedom - everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own skin and be happy. As long as you aren't hurting anyone else,

well, you be you. What I do find is that it's confusing and I often trip over my words trying to speak appropriately. Just last week, while traveling (in Alaska!) Ian and I attended a dinner/music performance with family style seating. The young person next to me was really friendly and outgoing and recommended the biscuits and cinnamon butter on the table. We chatted a bit and I found out their name was Emmer. it was a chosen name, not a birth name. My first faux pas may have been asking what the birth name was, as that question was answered but a bit of conflict crossed their face. My problem occurred when I turned to Ian to share a tidbit of our conversation and I totally stumbled over, he, she, they, this person....?? I really try to be respectful, but I am never sure. How can I say "I'm really trying and you are lovely but I'm so confused"? I think I just need to convey this with my smiling face and pleasant non-judgemental manner.

Here's a different way to 'identify' that will be much simpler! And....we are back to age. I promise after I turn 70 in a few weeks, I'll find a new theme. But this one is great and could help everyone. My husband is reading The Science and Technology of Growing Young by Sergey Young. There is a really interesting section on our psychological versus our chronological age. You know how we forget our age and are surprised when we look in the mirror (how does this 35 year old have all those wrinkles?) or have to spin the wheel half a dozen times to get to our year of birth? This, my friends, is a good thing! Turns out that deciding that our age is 15-20 years younger has an incredible effect on overall health. Studies show that your psychological age actually influences your biological age. Some scans show denser grey matter and individuals with this mindset have less obesity, inflammation, better cognition and many more benefits. The book references one study with almost 4000 subjects. Those claiming lower psychological ages had better liver and kidney health than those with older psychological ages. Wow - powerful.

What a lovely image - she is seeing her youth, not her aging face.

Now, how far do you want to go? Emile Ratelband 69 years old (in 2018) of Holland attempted to have his age legally changed to 49 to improve his dating prospects. The court did turn him down, but you have to admire his mindset and determination!

What this all comes down to is mindset. We know it's powerful, it's nothing new. Embracing a growth versus fixed mindset can be instrumental in your success. Why not truly believe that you are younger, embracing a 'youth' mindset? What harm can it do? For sure I won't do some of the silly things I did in my 20's and 30's but I am going to embrace the youth, energy and vitality of the 50 year old I have been for a very long time now!

Getting back to my first paragraph, where I stumble over words & pronouns, it might be fun to casually say that I'm 45 years old and watch for the confusion. On the other hand, I don't think I'll do that. I prefer seeing surprise when I state my age, indicating that I look younger, versus the the total confusion I'd witness If I claim to be 25 years younger. I may just say "I'm 69 but I identify as 45". What do you think of that?

Pat xo