I came across this quote recently and immediately decided that I needed to share it!
What excellent advice - something that, if it became a common practice, would likely make the world a kinder place..
How often do you notice something positive about someone and it never gets further than a thought? It could be someone's manner, their beautiful smile, the fact that they are considerate, always in a great mood or just that you enjoy their company.
Can you remember the pleasant feeling when someone randomly pays you a compliment? It is such a lovely unexpected little joy. More often than not compliments are well received - we just have to be careful not to be creepy with them haha. And if you get a blank stare as a response just move on and know that you were just being kind and trying to make someone's day a little better. (This happened to me a week ago; I surprised myself by not letting it bother me!)
But on a deeper level, what we "admire" about someone may be beyond a simple compliment. Of course we like to hear that our hair looks good, our outfit is flattering or that we just generally look good that day. It could be that someone always has a bright sunny smile, and you love how that sincere, ready smile brightens your day.
Perhaps what we admire about someone is more about their character, their manner, or the way they treat others. A couple of examples came to mind as I was mulling this over. Many years ago I spent time with a friend from work whose first child was the same age as my eldest. One thing I always noticed about her was her manner of speech. She took her time, thought before she spoke and made her point clearly. This was all the time - even in casual conversation. If I asked her a question, I could see her take a moment and think about the answer before speaking. Wow -- so different from me! I have spent the past 50 years trying to learn to think before I speak. There has been progress....but I am a work in progress. Another long time friend of mine is amazing at giving her undivided attention to the person she is speaking with. I, in contrast have to work really hard at not being distracted, particularly if something else is going on nearby. I know -- that is rude (definitely NOT intentional), and again is something I have worked on. I know that back then, I mentioned both of these qualities, likely saying it is how I wished could be. Really, it was something I admired (and aspired to!)
I tried this just yesterday, even using the word admire. We were sitting with a friend (here in Mexico) who is an excellent, competitive pickle ball player. What my husband and I always notice about her, is the she is always laughing and having fun. If she makes a great shot, she laughs. If she blows a shot, she laughs. I told her that Ian & I aspire to be more like her when we are on the court - just try our best, but always have fun and keep on laughing! I felt good telling her that we both 'admire' how she plays and I'm hoping that our compliment made her day a bit brighter.
It's becoming clear that what I admire in others are often qualities I am working on. That's ok right? Do you think that's typical? That we admire what we aren't great at? So there is a double benefit to voicing your thoughts; you may make someone's day a bit brighter and it may also help you work on being a little better person. I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this!
Pat xo
Pat, you hit the nail on the head. What we generally admire in others, is in areas where we might be lacking. I also believe as we get older, we do think about these types of things more often and we're more likely to say it out loud to someone. You know, you start to realize that we don't have forever, and we should tell me people the nice things that cross our minds!
I hope you are having a lovely time in Mexico!